My Bloodlusty Valentine
by tuesdaymidnight
Summary: Carlisle Cullen has abstained from drinking blood for three and a half centuries. What will Esme and the rest of the Cullen clan do when he is tempted? Originally posted in the Twilight No Stress Love Fest. AU/OOC.


**Disclaimer:** All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, Little, Brown, et. al. No profit was made and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:** This was originally posted in the Twilight No Stress Love Fest on livejournal, hosted by the fabulous naelany and OnTheTurningAway. I intended to write crack!fic, but got this instead. As always, thanks to OTTA for beta'ing!

* * *

It was just a routine appendectomy.

It had been 125 years since Dr. William Grant performed the first successful procedure, and Carlisle had performed the operation 2143 times.

He knew it was going to be difficult when he stepped out of his office and into the hallway. As he got closer and closer to the operating room, he could feel his 345 year resolve start to waver. He scrubbed in without incident. The sterile smells of the hospital helped dull the overwhelming scent.

As soon as he made the first incision, though, he knew he was in trouble.

Suddenly, _tua cantante_ made a whole lot more sense, and for the first time in three centuries, Carlisle Cullen asked for a break.

The other surgeon present looked shocked, but she took over the procedure as Carlisle excused himself from the operating room.

Carlisle stumbled to his office and tried to take deep, unnecessary breaths to calm himself down. It didn't help. Even on a different floor of Forks General, the boy's blood was singing.

He had to get out of there.

He drove home without paying much attention to the road, and made it back in record time. Sitting in his car in the driveway for a few minutes, Carlisle tried to regain his composure. He walked slowly toward the house, still feeling defeated. To the average observer, there wasn't a hair out of place, but to the keen eye of a vampire, he was utterly disheveled.

As soon as he stepped in the door, he realized that everyone in the house was nearby.

"Family meeting," Edward announced, as he greeted Carlisle.

Of course they already knew what had happened. The Cullen family had no secrets.

_I have so much more respect for you now, Edward. With Bella, I never understood._

Edward nodded grimly and was grateful that Bella had taken Nessie to visit the Reservation for the week. She never really understood how close Edward had been to killing her back in the Biology classroom. With her own uncanny ability to resist human blood, he hoped she never had to have her sensibilities challenged the way Carlisle's were now.

The two walked into the dining room, where Alice was already sitting with Jasper at her side. Esme was next to enter. She immediately went to Carlisle and wrapped her arms around him, before they sat down next to one another. Emmett and Rosalie entered together, both still in coveralls from working in the garage.

Alice began to speak, but Carlisle held up a hand.

"Let me," he said quietly. "I didn't call this meeting, but I am the reason for it."

Edward and Alice hadn't yet filled anyone in on the specifics, so four pairs of eyes looked at Carlisle with concern.

"I've been," he paused. "Tempted."

The room was silent to everyone but Edward, who heard the sudden influx of thoughts.

"Whoa. This seems like a conversation you should have with Esme," Emmett said immediately. "Unless, well, I'm flattered really, but-"

Rosalie cut him off with a smack to his chest.

"I want to drink human blood," Carlisle said calmly. "There was a boy in the O.R. today. His blood sang to me."

"Jasper," Edward scolded suddenly.

"Apologies," he replied sheepishly. "I just never thought I'd see the day when Carlisle wanted to become a real vampire."

"Jasper!" Alice was the one to scold him this time.

Carlisle just chuckled. It was a long standing conversation between him and Jasper, and he didn't take offense.

"The boy won't be in the hospital much longer, unless there are complications. Everyone at the hospital thinks I've been taken ill. I'll take tomorrow off."

"It's not that simple, Carlisle," Alice said.

"What did you see, Alice?" He asked, his voice filled with concern for the young patient.

"He's fine. They'll let him go home tomorrow."

"Then I don't see the problem."

"Carlisle, he's the grandson of the Chief of Medicine. He wants to be a doctor. He's going to be hanging around the hospital all week. You have a complicated heart surgery in three days, you _have_ to go in," Alice said.

"Well then, I'll just have to endure it," Carlisle said firmly, but it didn't take Jasper to know that he was concerned.

The family meeting was adjourned without any resolution. Though, Edward and Alice agreed to shadow Carlisle in the coming days in case they suspected he was going to cave. Carlisle retired to his study, wanting to be alone.

Alice pulled Edward aside.

_We need to talk with Esme. Hunting? _Alice thought.

Edward just looked at her and rolled her eyes. As if she hadn't already seen them hunting.

Alice went to retrieve Esme and the three vampires took off into the woods. After a delectable dinner of deer, Edward and Alice finally cornered Esme to discuss the matter at hand.

"Should we be worried?" Edward asked Alice. He had heard the thoughts running through Carlisle's head. The usual complex threads of medical knowledge, history and philosophy were absent. There was only a desire for the boy's blood by any means necessary, and Carlisle trying to come to terms with that desire.

Alice sent him an image before saying, "He's going to drink it either way."

"What?" Esme gasped. "We have to tell him. We have to-"

Both Alice and Edward reached out and grabbed one of Esme's hands.

"There is a way," Alice said.

"He'll regret it either way," Edward replied sadly.

"But you said there is a choice he can take so that he won't," Esme paused and lowered her voice. "Kill the boy."

"We just need to get him through the heart surgery," Alice insisted.

"I don't understand. If he only goes to the hospital for the surgery, then how would he-"

"The boy wants to watch the surgery," Edward interrupted calmly.

Esme was horrified, both at the idea of her compassionate, loving mate killing a boy and at knowing that Carlisle would never be able to live with himself. In the decades they had been together, she had never known him to even _wish_ he could have a taste of human blood.

"He's beating himself up about this, too," Edward responded to Esme's thoughts. "More than any of us could ever do."

"We have to do what we can," Esme said immediately.

"That's what we were thinking," Alice responded. "You volunteer at the hospital, right?"

"Yes," Esme replied, not understanding.

"Have you ever considered running a blood drive?"

Esme couldn't help a bitter laugh escape. "Wouldn't that be ironic."

"Ironic and exactly what we're going to do," Edward said with resolve. "We'll say it's a school project that Alice and I are working on."

"I don't know. I still don't see how this will work."

"Valentine's Day Blood Drive! Don't you see? It's perfect!" Alice exclaimed.

"This is also something the grandson of the Chief of Medicine would be interested in seeing come together, and maybe you could get him to donate blood?"

"This all sounds absurd."

"It's the only way, Esme," Alice replied, putting her hand on Esme's arm.

The next day, Carlisle stayed home from the hospital, but happily greeted his "children" in the morning as they left for school.

"You're rather cheerful this morning, Carlisle," Jasper noted.

"Well, Jasper, I've spent the whole night thinking about it, and even though I could never risk our livelihood here in Alaska with this particular boy, I think maybe it's been long enough. The only human blood I've ever tasted belonged to four members of this family. Why not drink human blood?"

"That's a very good question," Jasper said, confused at the change in Carlisle's demeanor.

It was then that Emmett bounded down the stairs. "That's exactly what I've been trying to tell you all these years! Sometimes you feel like a human, sometimes you don't."

"That's candy bars," Edward muttered as he slowly trailed after Emmett down the stairs.

_Please, Edward, not now._ Carlisle thought.

"I understand this better than anyone, and I know you don't mean it," Edward replied out loud.

Carlisle's mind was a jumble, arguing both sides of his conscience. Instead of responding, he called out "Have a good day at school" and disappeared back into his study.

Even though Esme was worried about him, she went in to the hospital. They were so impressed by the organizing that she, Edward and Alice had spent the night doing, that they were more than willing to start the blood drive the next day.

Carlisle did not go in to the hospital the following day either, but Edward, Alice and Esme were hard at work. After school was done for the day, Edward and Alice came to the hospital to volunteer, using their charm to help recruit donors.

That night, Edward sat down and had a chat with Carlisle, partly because he was genuinely concerned about his sire, and partly to distract him from overhearing Alice and Esme plan for the next evening.

"Carlisle, where is this coming from? I refuse to believe it is simply from the blood."

"I don't know if I can truly answer that question, Edward." Carlisle finally answered. "It's as if something has been awakened in me. For centuries I have tried to control my own nature, but I'm starting to question the supposed freedom that allows me to have that control. Maybe I am really just tempting fate."

"You've insisted for years that we are ensouled creatures who are free to live a life of our choosing, and now you're going back on those beliefs. I just don't think this is coming from a truthful place."

Carlisle was silent again, and Edward tried to stay away from his stream of thoughts. He focused instead on Emmett, who was watching cartoons on TV upstairs.

"I'll be perfectly honest with you, Edward. This is hard to admit, but I feel I owe you the truth."

"Please, Carlisle. I want to understand."

"I'm envious."

Edward was stunned.

"I'm envious of all of you. You've all given into the desire. As twisted as it is, you yourself have saved lives by taking away those that have chosen a life of harming others. You've given into this insatiable craving. How can I truly appreciate and understand the lifestyle choices I have made if I haven't walked in the other's shoes?"

"You've turned into an empiricist then. You need evidence?"

"Perhaps, Edward. Perhaps."

"I understand the appeal, I do, but I hope you decide in the long run it isn't worth it. An eternity of guilt is the burden of those like us."

"I live with that burden everyday, Edward, four times over, but I would do it all again."

They sat in a silent stalemate for awhile longer.

"I will always love you, Carlisle," Edward stood as he spoke. "Regardless of your decision."

"But you won't respect me."

"Respect must be earned."

"Indeed."

Edward took his leave of Carlisle, but listened to his thoughts until Esme came in to give Carlisle a reprieve from his brooding.

The next day, February 14th, was the day of the heart surgery.

Assured that everything would go according to plan and satisfied with the direction of Carlisle's thoughts, Edward headed south to Washington in order to surprise his wife and daughter for the holiday, so it was down to Alice and Esme to keep the plan in motion.

The operation was a success.

Carlisle's ability to focus was certainly hindered by the presence of the boy in the viewing area, but with the concentration skills of a vampire, his highly distracted state was not noticed by any of the humans present. Still, he left the hospital almost immediately after the surgery. A nurse came up to tell him what a kind and generous woman his wife was, but he was so consumed by the bloodlust, he had no idea what she was talking about.

He took to the woods immediately after he got home and gorged himself on wildlife until he could feel the blood sloshing inside him. That morning he had been convinced of his resolve, but one whiff of the boy's blood in the hospital had left him running through arguments all day.

That evening, Rosalie and Emmett and Alice and Jasper made themselves scarce, both to give Carlisle and Esme privacy and to celebrate on their own.

Esme came home around 7. She searched for her mate, finding him in his study, looking through old texts he had written during his time with the Volturi. He was getting frantic, trying to justify his newly awakened desire.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my dear," she announced from the doorway.

"Oh, Esme," he said thoughtfully. "I'm so sorry. I forgot that today was St. Valentine's."

"I've planned something for us."

"Oh?" he said. It was true that sexual desire was a close second to the desire for blood, so Esme's suggestive tone stirred Carlisle's arousal.

"But first, I have a present for you."

Carlisle smiled at his mate. For the first time since he had smelled the delicious blood that sang to his desire, that smile reached his golden eyes.

Esme left the room but returned quickly. She presented him with a carefully wrapped box, holding something else in her right hand behind her back.

Carlisle looked at the package before opening it. It had been wrapped in layers of scented paper to mask the scent, but as soon as the wrapping paper tore, Carlisle knew.

"Esme, what have you done?" He gasped in horror.

"Just open it, darling."

Carlisle opened the box, revealing a standard issue bag of blood, collected as a donation to the Red Cross.

Understanding immediately, he broke out into a grin and leaped gracefully over the desk. He grabbed his wife and dipped her low, planting a deep, lingering kiss on her lips.

The scent of blood overwhelmed him, though, and he quickly turned back to the package on his desk.

"I can't believe you did this for me."

"Just drink it, darling,"

"But Esme..."

She pulled out the two wine glasses she had been holding behind her back.

"Don't think. Just pour."

It was the soundest advice he could have heard in that moment, so he followed his wife's orders, splitting the cooling blood between the two goblets. Handing one to his mate, he gripped the other glass tightly, finally about to give into the pleasure he had let escape him for three and a half centuries.

He clinked his glass to hers.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Then he raised the glass to his lips.

FIN


End file.
